Dear Creator,
I am so confused about everything these days. It feels like there is a huge void inside of me. A hole that maybe can’t be fixed. Where have you been? I believe in you Creator, but where have you been? I try to talk to you all the time, every day, I need help so badly. Can’t find that help in other people. I can’t find it in myself alone. What am I doing wrong? Why can’t I feel hope, peace, love, freedom? Where are you Creator? Where are you all those hours I am praying, crying, and so confused I don’t even have words. The anguish feels like it should kill me alone, and I am surprised it doesn’t. They hurt everything about my relationship to you, and to myself. I loathe myself, and I don’t really understand why. I can’t trust, can’t let love in, can’t assume the best of humans… I want to know you Creator. Other people talk about their relationship with you, and I just feel….empty. Unlovable. I don’t know if you, or anyone/anything is even there. I sometimes I think I am crazy when I pray because there is no creator, not who loves me anyway. They perverted and confused everything about spirituality, and nothing makes sense anymore. I am exhausted. If you are there Creator, why can’t I feel you? What is wrong with me?
Cherish Freedom 