Got a phone call today from this girl from the police victim services in my city… This is probably about the fourth time I’ve talked to her on the phone, and I honestly don’t know why she calls me. I don’t know what the point of the victim services here is. Apparently they are all volunteers and all they do is offer telephone support and refer you to services in the community that might help you (like counselling or something). Before this girl started calling me every week or two it was a guy that was calling me for like a month every week and at this point I feel like they’re fucking harrassing me. They don’t and can’t do shit for me, they know that, I’ve told them that. The city I live in has very VERY limited resources, and I have tried them all, the resources I am already accessing are the best and the only ones that will work for me. In fact, I informed these two volunteers of at least five different “resources” that they didnt even know about… They are both young, you can tell that by their voices, and they don’t know shit about the real world, I can tell that by the conversations I’ve had with them. All fucking optimistic, thinking the cops are gonna help me, thinking I’m gonna magically feel happy, it fucking pisses me off…. Finally the guy stopped calling me after I was pretty blunt with him about not wanting to talk to him. But fuck man, this girl starts calling me a week later…. I have been talking to them a bit, but my purpose is not to get “emotional support” (even though that may be what they think they are giving me…), it is to educate them on how FUCKED UP the police system really is. I tell them parts of my story to let them know that there are people like me who have been totally fucked around and victimized even more by the cops, THE COPS ARE NOT ALWAYS THE FUCKING GOOD GUYS….. I told the girl today that its a lie we are all told when we are kids…that if somebody hurts us it is wrong and we should go to the police and the police will get the bad person who hurt us. That’s a straight up lie we tell kids. The cops don’t help abuse victims… that’s why the reporting statistics are so fucking low, the victims know the chances of justice are so slim.
As to why some chipper, naive, young, victim services volunteers keep harrassing me by phone…. that’s because the cop I was speaking to here referred me to them and then never got back to me with the information she was supposedly getting for me. Long story, but this cop was trying to find out why the cops in the province I lived in my whole life have never ever helped me in all my dealings with them over the past 14 years. She got a bunch of information, but there was more…. it was fucked up…..anyway… I haven’t heard from her in a couple months. I guess she figures victim services is good enough. Cops aren’t gonna help me no matter what I do.
Yes, I have a really huge issue with the police, the whole police system, the way it works. And specifically my dealings with them throughout my life. I have tried so many times to report abuse to them and they’ve called me crazy and a liar. Literally. Pretty much every time. I do know that much. I hate the police. They have traumatized and victimized me so much more than I was already being traumatized and victimized.
And now this cop in my new city, saying she was going to do just a small thing, get information for me. And she can’t even do that. No contact. Refer me to victim services. To these well-meaning but completely naive and annoying kids who keep calling and harrassing me. Fuck its annoying. I just wish that the cops would help…. I WANT justice. I WANT them to do something. I WANT some guidance and support as to what the fuck I am supposed to do to get these incompetent assholes to do something…. Fourteen YEARS of the cops calling me crazy and a liar….. Yeah I’m fucking mad…