Cherish Freedom

My Healing Journey From Mormon Ritual Abuse To Freedom

“Animal I Have Become” by Three Days Grace September 17, 2012

Filed under: Abuse,Healing — cherishfreedom @ 5:33 pm
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ANIMAL I HAVE BECOME

I can’t escape this hell
So many times I’ve tried
But I’m still caged inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can’t control myself
 
So what if you can see the darkest side of me
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it’s not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal!
This animal, this animal
 
I can’t escape myself
So many times I’ve lied
But there’s still rage inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can’t control myself
 
So what if you can see the darkest side of me
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it’s not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become

Help me believe it’s not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
 
Somebody help me through this nightmare
I can’t control myself
Somebody wake me from this nightmare
I can’t escape this hell
 
This animal, this animal
This animal, this animal
This animal, this animal
This animal
 
So what if you can see the darkest side of me
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it’s not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
 
Help me believe it’s not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal!
This animal I have become

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Cult Meeting (My Art About Ritual Abuse) September 7, 2012

Filed under: Abuse,My Story,PTSD,Ritual Abuse — cherishfreedom @ 11:28 am
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Nov. 2004

 

I made this November 29, 2004 and it is the most symbolic piece of artwork I have ever done, of what it is like to be ritually abused. The red things represent demons, and the black hands are the hands of the abusers. If you can’t read it, I have written on the abusers arms, “god” and “Satan” over and over. All of my body parts are disconnected because this type of abuse makes it so you HAVE to dissociate and leave your body, and not feel the physical pain.

 

Nightmares August 27, 2012

Filed under: Abuse,My Story,Poetry,PTSD — cherishfreedom @ 7:53 am
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Wake up choking, screaming, crying

Supposed to make a life now but you’re always there

Every night you fuck me, beat me, kill me

Screaming out but no one’s around to hear

How do I explain to the people around me

What is really going on when I can’t get out of bed

You’re torturing me again, still, forever and ever

I can’t escape it– and there’s no one around who even knows

You’re still here all the time

Here with me

Haunting me

You are my nightmares

You are the evil everywhere around me

You are the reason I cry and I shake

You are the reason I live in hell

You are the reason I am alive

And the reason I wish I was dead

Thank you Daddy……