I am overjoyed and filled with hope to see the face and hear the voice of one of my heroines and inspirations over the last 10 years again. Many of you are probably aware that TLC has a new show called “Escaping the Prophet” about the FLDS, where Flora Jessop and Brandon Jeffs are profiled doing what they do best. Helping FLDS captives escape to freedom. Flora has been a fierce warrior against the FLDS abuses (along with many others) for so many years. It brings tears to my eyes to be able to watch this. Thank you Flora for your example to me. Thank you for your strength, for your encouragement, for your words of truth. Thank you for working tirelessly for so many years to expose this, even when people didn’t believe you. I have wanted to be like you “when I grow up” since I met you! And I know that I will be. The world is getting ready to do something REAL to stop all kinds of abuses, and its because of people like you, Flora, who never quit and never give up. No matter what you keep speaking the truth and helping as many as you can. I don’t know if you will ever realize the impact you have had on me over the last ten years, and how you have helped me realize that I too can help free the captives. Flora, you are AMAZING!!! And I am soooo happy that you and Ruby are finally together again. Victory!!!
Rebirth January 8, 2014
Rebirth, the life that comes
The changes, constant changes
Of my voice, my will, my strength
Struggling to break the barriers
This journey is one of dead ends,
winding roads, twists and turns.
But heartbreak in the search for love
is only a rock on my trail.
For only with the deepest agony
The greatest joy comes.
I find my purpose!
To love and be loved
Sit on the snow-capped mountain
and look down on my life
To realize how far I’ve come.
My footprints have left my trail
I remember where I’ve come from,
And my triumph is my rebirth.
The Pace Memo- Ritual Abuse Within the Mormon Church January 6, 2014
I will let this website link speak for itself, as I am quite emotional about this topic at the moment. All I have to say is, this is what happened to me. It is real. The mormon church has been covering it up for decades. I am sharing this information on my blog because I know that there are other women somewhere out there who are also trying to escape this torture and abuse, and I want them to know they are not alone… I also want people in our world to know that things like this really do happen.
To anyone who doesn’t believe this, that is fine. I am not trying to convince people who are not interested. My purpose is to educate people who ARE interested, and hopefully to reach out to other women who have also been abused as I have.
Here is the link to…
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This is serious- Educate Yourselves!!! January 5, 2014
If you care about me or survivors of ritual abuse and torture, what are you willing to DO about it? Your thoughts, prayers, and good wishes are nice- for you. They make you feel better, but they most definitely don’t help us in any way. Your thoughts don’t change our lives, exemplify love and hope, give a hand up. We are not charity cases. We don’t want your pity. We want a call to arms to end all ritual abuse/mind control/torture/CHILD abuse of any form! Do you care, seriously? Or just for a few minutes. Am I just a charity case to you? Or do you want to be my friend, my sister. I don’t want your pity, I want you to walk alongside me on this journey to free the slaves.
This is a call to arms. Educate yourselves, then others. Care and DO something about it. You have to figure out if you actually care or not. But I will not accept anyone on my team who is half-assed about caring and actually doing something real about these issues. We need warriors. We need empowerment, not charity and pity.
If you want to educate yourself about ritual abuse, start on the website below. And then hopefully you will care enough to take some real action against torture and injustice against children.
If you are reading my blog, it is because you are looking for some kind of information, you have a question, you need understanding. Please, go further. Please DO something. We all need you.
Child of Truth January 2, 2014
To the children born to darkness
To the slaves waiting to be set free
To the ones holding on for dear life
Wondering if there’s hope anywhere at all
To the ones who’ve seen the lies
Since the days you were so small
They smile as they hurt
They tell you not to cry or you’ll be next
The hypocrisy, they put your Creator into your pain
They turn your tormentors into your saviors
Yet you still see the truth
Their world is lies, and you’ve always known
Listen to me, Listen, Child of Truth,
I thought there was no hope for me too
But you are not a slave, I am not a slave
And we are right, the world we were born into
is LIES, all LIES
And you are beautiful
And your Creator smiles
At your questions
The questions that bring you punishment now
Will bring you freedom, Child of Truth
Don’t give up,
I am waiting for you!
There are many of us
Though we feel so alone
We will expose all their secrets
And freedom will be ours
Creator gave us a gift
To see through their lies
To shine light on their secrets
And bring freedom to the slaves
The generations coming after us,
Waiting for us, Waiting for Hope
Waiting for a hand to reach out to them
We have to survive this, Child of Truth
It hurts so bad we want to die, but we won’t
We won’t because Creator gave us a mission
We are going to free the slaves
Slaves, like we once were
We will be free one day, free for good
And we will bring hope to the others
I need you
They need you
Please don’t die
Stay with me
We will expose this together
the kid next door December 18, 2013
confusion grips the mind
dark clouds of fog
voice has been strangled
the evil ones draw near
as we scream silently for help
nobody ever hears
memories more real
than when the body was there
blood on the floor
blood on the wall
blood on the christmas tree
what is reality
cuz this is hell
always in a nightmare
far away but you’re so near
pray, pray, pray the devil away
pray the demons back to hell
but why do they linger
confusion, dark fog
can we sleep
and never wake up
torture is real
happens next door
but the world doesn’t care
about the kids dying
dying in every way
they know a different kind of love
their hope is death
the holidays are survival
as hope fades again
sleep, sleep, sleep,
it will be ok one day
Living in Trauma Mode November 30, 2013
The last few weeks (I think…) have been a hurricane of emotional, spiritual and real-life crises. Trauma is triggered all the time. Flashbacks, memories, alters all so confused, emotional and loud in the head. Need to find a home, NOW…its basically an emergency. It feels hopeless to me, but other people don’t think its hopeless. So confusing….not used to people who don’t even know me well treating me with such love and kindness. It really feels like the last few weeks have been a dream/nightmare. Both good and bad. Breaking me to a point I have nowhere to look but up. No one to talk to but Creator. Nothing to do but pray, and cry, and allow this body to shake and hold the teddy bear. Trying to give the body food, sleep, rest, warmth, gentleness, comfort. Past traumas are so triggered right now though, that the body doesn’t, or can’t believe it is safe. What does safety feel like? What does a safe home feel like? What is home? So broken that only Creator and the “ordinary angels” around me can keep me afloat. The strength in myself feels like its been drained out, drop by drop, like blood, like life. Creator, I pray for a home and the strength to do what I need to do to fulfill my purpose. And safety, whatever that looks like. I am broken into a million pieces. I need a miracles, maybe a lot of miracles…but I know miracles are real now, and I know if I stay on my path, I will see more.