Cherish Freedom

My Healing Journey From Mormon Ritual Abuse To Freedom

Thank you Flora Jessop January 20, 2014

Filed under: Abuse,FLDS,Healing — cherishfreedom @ 8:01 am
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I am overjoyed and filled with hope to see the face and hear the voice of one of my heroines and inspirations over the last 10 years again. Many of you are probably aware that TLC has a new show called “Escaping the Prophet” about the FLDS, where Flora Jessop and Brandon Jeffs are profiled doing what they do best. Helping FLDS captives escape to freedom. Flora has been a fierce warrior against the FLDS abuses (along with many others) for so many years. It brings tears to my eyes to be able to watch this. Thank you Flora for your example to me. Thank you for your strength, for your encouragement, for your words of truth. Thank you for working tirelessly for so many years to expose this, even when people didn’t believe you. I have wanted to be like you “when I grow up” since I met you! And I know that I will be. The world is getting ready to do something REAL to stop all kinds of abuses, and its because of people like you, Flora, who never quit and never give up. No matter what you keep speaking the truth and helping as many as you can. I don’t know if you will ever realize the impact you have had on me over the last ten years, and how you have helped me realize that I too can help free the captives. Flora, you are AMAZING!!! And I am soooo happy that you and Ruby are finally together again. Victory!!!

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Rebirth January 8, 2014

Filed under: Abuse,Healing,My Story,Poetry — cherishfreedom @ 8:48 am
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Rebirth, the life that comes

After death.

The changes, constant changes

Of my voice, my will, my strength

Struggling to break the barriers

of silence.

This journey is one of dead ends,

winding roads, twists and turns.

And heartbreak.

But heartbreak in the search for love

is only a rock on my trail.

For only with the deepest agony

The greatest joy comes.

I find my purpose!

To love and be loved

Sit on the snow-capped mountain

and look down on my life

To realize how far I’ve come.

My footprints have left my trail

I remember where I’ve come from,

And my triumph is my rebirth.

 

The Pace Memo- Ritual Abuse Within the Mormon Church January 6, 2014

Filed under: Abuse,Ex-Mormon,Mormonism,Ritual Abuse — cherishfreedom @ 9:17 am
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Cherish Freedom

I will let this website link speak for itself, as I am quite emotional about this topic at the moment. All I have to say is, this is what happened to me. It is real. The mormon church has been covering it up for decades. I am sharing this information on my blog because I know that there are other women somewhere out there who are also trying to escape this torture and abuse, and I want them to know they are not alone… I also want people in our world to know that things like this really do happen.

To anyone who doesn’t believe this, that is fine. I am not trying to convince people who are not interested. My purpose is to educate people who ARE interested, and hopefully to reach out to other women who have also been abused as I have.

Here is the link to…

View original post 17 more words

 

This is serious- Educate Yourselves!!! January 5, 2014

Filed under: Ex-Mormon,Ritual Abuse — cherishfreedom @ 3:33 pm
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If you care about me or survivors of ritual abuse and torture, what are you willing to DO about it? Your thoughts, prayers, and good wishes are nice- for you. They make you feel better, but they most definitely don’t help us in any way. Your thoughts don’t change our lives, exemplify love and hope, give a hand up. We are not charity cases. We don’t want your pity. We want a call to arms to end all ritual abuse/mind control/torture/CHILD abuse of any form! Do you care, seriously? Or just for a few minutes. Am I just a charity case to you? Or do you want to be my friend, my sister. I don’t want your pity, I want you to walk alongside me on this journey to free the slaves.

 

This is a call to arms. Educate yourselves, then others. Care and DO something about it. You have to figure out if you actually care or not. But I will not accept anyone on my team who is half-assed about caring and actually doing something real about these issues. We need warriors. We need empowerment, not charity and pity.

 

If you want to educate yourself about ritual abuse, start on the website below. And then hopefully you will care enough to take some real action against torture and injustice against children.

http://ra-info.org/

If you are reading my blog, it is because you are looking for some kind of information, you have a question, you need understanding. Please, go further. Please DO something. We all need you.

 

Child of Truth January 2, 2014

Filed under: Ex-Mormon,Ritual Abuse — cherishfreedom @ 9:08 pm
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To the children born to darkness

To the slaves waiting to be set free

To the ones holding on for dear life

Wondering if there’s hope anywhere at all

To the ones who’ve seen the lies

Since the days you were so small

They smile as they hurt

They tell you not to cry or you’ll be next

The hypocrisy, they put your Creator into your pain

They turn your tormentors into your saviors

Yet you still see the truth

Their world is lies, and you’ve always known

Listen to me, Listen, Child of Truth,

I thought there was no hope for me too

But you are not a slave, I am not a slave

And we are right, the world we were born into

is LIES, all LIES

And you are beautiful

And smart

And amazing

And your Creator smiles

At your questions

The questions that bring you punishment now

Will bring you freedom, Child of Truth

Don’t give up,

Don’t Die!

I am waiting for you!

There are many of us

Though we feel so alone

We will expose all their secrets

And freedom will be ours

Creator gave us a gift

To see through their lies

To shine light on their secrets

And bring freedom to the slaves

The generations coming after us,

Waiting for us, Waiting for Hope

Waiting for a hand to reach out to them

We have to survive this, Child of Truth

It hurts so bad we want to die, but we won’t

We won’t because Creator gave us a mission

We are going to free the slaves

Slaves, like we once were

We will be free one day, free for good

And we will bring hope to the others

I need you

They need you

Please don’t die

Stay with me

We will expose this together

 

the kid next door December 18, 2013

Filed under: My Story,Poetry,PTSD,Ritual Abuse,Torture — cherishfreedom @ 2:04 pm
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confusion grips the mind

dark clouds of fog

electric bursts

brain bursts

voice has been strangled

the evil ones draw near

as we scream silently for help

nobody ever hears

memories more real

than when the body was there

blood on the floor

blood on the wall

blood on the christmas tree

what is reality

cuz this is hell

always in a nightmare

far away but you’re so near

pray, pray, pray the devil away

pray the demons back to hell

but why do they linger

confusion, dark fog

can we sleep

and never wake up

torture is real

happens next door

but the world doesn’t care

about the kids dying

dying in every way

they know a different kind of love

their hope is death

the holidays are survival

reliving, remembering

as hope fades again

sleep, sleep, sleep,

it will be ok one day

 

Living in Trauma Mode November 30, 2013

Filed under: DID,My Story,PTSD — cherishfreedom @ 5:46 pm
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The last few weeks (I think…) have been a hurricane of emotional, spiritual and real-life crises. Trauma is triggered all the time. Flashbacks, memories, alters all so confused, emotional and loud in the head. Need to find a home, NOW…its basically an emergency. It feels hopeless to me, but other people don’t think its hopeless. So confusing….not used to people who don’t even know me well treating me with such love and kindness. It really feels like the last few weeks have been a dream/nightmare. Both good and bad. Breaking me to a point I have nowhere to look but up. No one to talk to but Creator. Nothing to do but pray, and cry, and allow this body to shake and hold the teddy bear. Trying to give the body food, sleep, rest, warmth, gentleness, comfort. Past traumas are so triggered right now though, that the body doesn’t, or can’t believe it is safe. What does safety feel like? What does a safe home feel like? What is home? So broken that  only Creator and the “ordinary angels” around me can keep me afloat. The strength in myself feels like its been drained out, drop by drop, like blood, like life. Creator, I pray for a home and the strength to do what I need to do to fulfill my purpose. And safety, whatever that looks like. I am broken into a million pieces. I need a miracles, maybe a lot of miracles…but I know miracles are real now, and I know if I stay on my path, I will see more.